For all the hardship of the last two years I can say that, for me personally, I really don’t have a lot to complain about. I’ve moved up in a career that hasn’t been interrupted and I’ve learned to be happy without constant travel or other activities. I’ve read hundreds of books, written over a hundred blog posts and I’m healthier than I’ve ever been. Those are all great things.
Today what I struggle with is time.
No, I’m not talking about not having enough time to do anything. In fact slowing down on travel and other wasteful habits has given me more free time than I’ve ever had. I struggle, instead, with finding ways to focus during that down time.
Whether it’s reading, writing or working on side projects I find it nearly impossible to commit time to anything. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you’ve seen it in my writing where, if a blog post takes more than 15 minutes or so to write, I simply don’t do it. For side projects, if the code takes more than a couple of hours I simply throw it out. If a book takes more than a few days to read I don’t start it. The list goes on.
For as comfortable as I’ve gotten at home I have struggled to find comfort in anything I want to do at home, instead finding all my free time going to mindlessly doom scrolling social media or killing nights on video games. There has to be a better way to live.
It’s not that I don’t have things I want to do either. I have far more I want to do than I seem to be able to focus on. How to find that focus, however, is a challenge that continues to allude me. My goal, therefore, from now until the end of the year is to try to fix that. I don’t know how that will work but I’m committed to doing something about it.
Wish me luck.